When the Hurt in Church Hurts Others

The church is meant to be a place of healing, grace, and love. Yet, too often, those within its walls experience something far different—hurt inflicted not by outsiders, but by fellow believers. When pain comes from within, it cuts deeper, leaving scars that shake faith and drive people away.

At the root of this issue is misplaced worship—when people elevate leaders, traditions, or personal preferences above Christ Himself. Instead of focusing on Jesus, they cling to power, reputation, or control, often at the expense of others. This misplaced devotion can lead to judgmental attitudes, gossip, exclusion, and even spiritual manipulation.

Hurt people, in their own brokenness, sometimes hurt others. A wounded leader may enforce harsh rules to maintain order. A rejected member might lash out in bitterness. A misunderstood believer may retreat into silence, leaving wounds unattended. The cycle continues unless we choose to break it.

So how do we respond?

1. Refocus on Christ – Our faith must be centered on Jesus, not human leaders or institutions. He is the source of healing and truth.
2. Extend Grace – Just as we seek grace, we must extend it to those who have hurt us. Forgiveness does not excuse wrongdoing but frees us from bitterness.
3. Create Safe Spaces – The church should be a refuge, not a battleground. Open conversations, accountability, and genuine love can foster healing.

If you’ve been hurt, know this: Christ sees you. He grieves over the pain caused in His name, and He calls His church to do better. Let’s worship Him rightly—through love, humility, and restoration.